I’ve been feeling very overwhelmed lately. I try not to show it though since I don’t want to bring others down. Well, maybe my husband can tell. Maybe he’s even feeling the same way. We both just have a lot on our plates right now. There’s so much behind the scenes stuff that goes into ministry and yet we are just getting started – although, some of the ministry we do now includes things we’ve been doing long before we even began planting a church. Nevertheless, church planting still changes the dynamic, which is to be expected. It entails lots of paperwork, meetings etc. It’s just difficult at times juggling everything when you have your own family to care for, plus health issues and so on. I’m just feeling very burnt out right now.
I don’t just care for my children, I’m also a nanny… or babysitter, whatever you want to call it. I’m always wiping bums, kissing boo boos… you name it. To be perfectly honest, I struggle with feelings of worthlessness through caregiving and often have to remind myself that everything I do is to the glory of God. It’s not about people or professions, it’s all about Him and I’m called to do my best regardless of the job. In addition to being a mother and nanny, I’m a wife who’s called to love and support my amazing husband. I’m also a friend, a sister, a daughter, a mentor, a writer and a public speaker. I feel pulled in so many different directions sometimes, it feels like my head is spinning and I can’t keep up. As life gets sucked out of me, I continuously run to God to get filled back up.
While I was praying today, my desperation for Him was at the forefront of my mind. I’ve always known how badly I need Him every moment of every day, but it was like my awareness of it went to a whole new level. However, I eventually found myself feeling whiny, needy and pathetic. I realized my thoughts were getting off track, but I began to wonder how He must feel with billions of little humans here on earth crying out to Him for every little thing. Lord, I need a financial miracle. Lord, I need a wife. Lord, I need a car. Lord, I need healing for my big toe.
I need, I need, I need.
So, as I was preparing to run with my negative thoughts and have a pity party with God, the Holy Spirit spoke humbly to my heart, “aren’t you glad He never gets burnt out?”
What a refreshing question. Why, yes Holy Spirit… yes, I am glad. He is my unlimited source of everything I need in this life and He never runs out of power to display, grace to give or mercy to show. He isn’t overwhelmed by us or our prayers. In fact, He delights in us and loves when we come to Him. 1 Peter 5:7 says Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. Oh, and there aren’t too many of us talking at once either, He’s got this…no worries there. He doesn’t need to scream, “one at a time!” like I do with my kids when they’re eager to tell me something or ask a question. He individually loves and effectively treats us each like an only child. He’s even active in the lives of those who don’t rely on Him too. Now that’s deep.
He doesn’t just enjoy when we approach Him with requests. We are also called to come to Him with a heart of gratitude and thankfulness as well. The word “thanks” appears over 73 times in the bible. My favorite verse about giving thanks is actually Psalm 106:1 Praise the LORD. Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.
When my children tell me “I love you” or one of the children I babysit comes and cuddles with me, it melts my heart. God is our Father and our adoration for Him melts His heart too. Our children love us because we first loved them and 1 John 4:19 says We love Him because He first loved us.
My friends, if you’re feeling overwhelmed today too, be encouraged because God doesn’t.
We must remember together that we can do ALL things through Christ who gives us strength (Phil 4:13), no matter how we may feel. We just have to keep movin’ forward.
God bless you, beautiful people.